Fan Girls Aren't So Bad
by Wayward Awesome
Summary: What happens when an interesting picture is circulated around Hogwarts?
1. Fan Girls Aren't So Bad

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, regrettfully.

Warning: Slash

My friend says that I should dedicate this to someone. I would dedicate it to her, but she said not to...I think...oh well. Heather, this is dedicated to you and Steff...and Geoff, because, despite the fact that he says otherwise, he loves to read this kinda stuff. And I guess my mom, who kept trying to get me to write a fanfic...not sure why though.

To everyone else, I hope you enjoy.

Lobe Manaka-San

* * *

"You know, it's kinda difficult to do my homework with you two practically shagging right next to me, right?" Harry asked his two best friends, who, at that moment, were in the process of having a heated snogging session in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. No decency, those two. 

"You should have done that over the holidays, Harry," Hermione commented as Ron trialed kisses down her neck.

"Well, I didn't. I had better things to do," he answered, smiling at the memory of him and Ron charming snowballs to follow other students who stayed over the holidays.

"You're never going to get that done in time, so, would you like to join?" she asked, effectively causing both boys to turn an interesting shade of red. Since her and Ron had started going out during the summer before their seventh year, Hermione seemed to become more than a little...provocative.

"Merlin, no!" Harry exclaimed. His eyes returned to his scrolls and tried to concentrate on the chicken-scratch he called notes. "You two seem busy enough as it is."

"Too right, mate," Ron said, placing another kiss on Hermione's lips. Just then, Ginny burst through the portrait, chest heaving and face a little more than slightly red. She saw her brother and Hermione intertwined on the couch and scoffed almost disapprovingly. Key word being 'almost'. Looking away, her eyes settled on Harry, at which point her blush deepened.

"Uh...H-Harry," she stuttered, no one quite sure if it was from nerves or her breathing. "Um...I...erm..."

At length, she gave up on the talking part and thrust a piece of parchment at him. Harry took it from her hands and unrolled it, smoothing it to the best of his ability.

It was blank. He looked questioningly up at Ginny.

"What about it?" he asked. Ron and Hermione, as well as a few other seventh years, abandoned what they had been doing in favor of looking at the mysterious piece of paper.

Ginny's blush grew deeper still as she tapped her wand against the parchment and mumbled something under her breath.

Instantly, the paper lit up with an animated image of Harry kissing..._Draco Malfoy_. The charmed pictures grabbed at each other's robes, running fingers through hair, and tried to get as close to each other as humanly possible, all the while looking like they were rather enjoying themselves. Harry was speechless, Ron gagged, and Hermione tried unsuccessfully to hide the smile that spread across her face. Behind them, Parvati and Lavander giggled in unison.

Finally, Harry blushed as his voice came back under his control and he spoke in a somewhat strained way. "Ginny, where did you get this?"

The sixth year pulled at her hair, which was now a lighter shade of red than her face. "One of the Slytherin girls in my Transfigurations class gave it to me, and she didn't know who started it. I didn't know what it was 'til she charmed it, I swear, I'm almost completely innocent."

"You'd better be _completely_ innocent or I may have to kill Dean," Ron said, only half joking.

"I heard that," Dean called, walking over to the growing crowd.

"Well then, take that as a warning," Ron called back.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm stupid enough to taint her virtue with six vengeful brothers on her side," Dean said. "I don't think so."

"Back to this interesting picture," Hermione smirked-she _never_ smirked-drawing the attention of the people around her. "It's some sort of invisible ink, charmed to appear at a certain spell."

"Obviously," Harry remarked, still staring at the image of him and Malfoy kissing. "How do you make it go away?"

"Oh, come off it, Harry," Hermione piped up. "You know you love it."

Harry stared at her, eyes filled with shock. "_Shut up_," he hissed.

"What's she talking about, mate?" Ron asked, a little more than slightly confused at what the other two were talking about. He was the only one.

"Never mind-" Harry started.

"Oh, nothing, other than the fact that Harry's gay and he seems to have found himself fancying Malfoy since the end of last year," Hermione told the common room. A hush quickly fell over everyone. Then-

"HERMIONE!!!" Harry yelled, quite embarrassed. "I thought I told you _not_ to tell anyone!!! I had the 'straighter than a ruler' thing down pat, then you had to go and tell everybody!!!"

"Oops," she said through a smile. "That part must have slipped my mind."

"So that's why he moped around the Burrow all summer?" Ginny asked, face still red. Hermione nodded.

The room burst into hushed whispers as Harry buried his now very red face in his hands, causing the parchment to fall to the floor. Not too many people seemed to be too disturbed by this new little fact, well, except for Ron, whose slightly green face contrasted his hair.

Hermione took the opportunity to pick up the parchment and tap it with her wand, repeating the spell Ginny murmured earlier. She rolled it up and slipped it into her sleeve, with no one the wiser.

* * *

The next morning, the moment Harry walked into the Great Hall, all conversation stopped and he felt the eyes of every girl-and a good number of boys-on him, especially those of his fellow Gryffindors. He quickly walked to the Gryffindor table, taking his seat between Ron and Ginny, with Hermione on Ron's other side. As he began to eat, he tried to ignore the stares, jabbing at the thick mess that was his porridge. Harry was so successful at ignoring everyone, he didn't hear the footsteps or notice the tall shadow looming over him. 

"Potter," an unmistakable voice drawled. Harry glanced up to meet the almost metallic-grey eyes staring down at him.

"What do you want Malfoy?" he asked, looking back to his porridge as he tried to keep the blush off his face.

Malfoy sneered at him. "I want a lot, Potter, but I need to talk to you." He glanced at Ron and Hermione. "Alone."

The sudden intake of breath was noticeable and the giggles couldn't be ignored.

"He doesn't wanna go any-" Ron started.

"Fine," Harry interrupted as he quickly stood. He heard Ron try to protest, but was obviously silenced by Hermione and possibly Ginny.

Harry followed the Slytherin to the court yard, where the sun shone down through the crisp, cold air to settle on the heads of the two boys.

"What is it, Malfoy?" Harry asked, running a hand through his unruly locks. He tried his damnedest to hide his excitement at being alone with Malfoy.

The blonde didn't seem to hear Harry, pulling his robes tighter around his chilled body. Harry noticed just how tall and slender Malfoy was and he found himself wishing he could see what the other boy looked like without-

_**No!! Bad!**_ A voice yelled at Harry from inside his mind. It sounded strangely like Ron. _**Don't think about that!!!**_

"Potter?" The blonde's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"I needed to talk for two reasons. One-" Malfoy held up his index finger "-I heard from a reasonably reliable source that the Golden Boy seems to have a crush on none other than the Ice Prince himself." _**Damn news gets around fast.** _Harry pretended to cough to hide the blush that flared up his face with the sleeve of the robes. "Seems that to be true. Second, have you seen that...picture?" Harry shyly admitted that he had. "Good, saves me from explaining."

Malfoy turned to look out over the lake while Harry waited for him to continue. Moments dragged by and the Gryffindor became unnerved by the silence. Finally, he spoke up.

"What do you want?" he asked again.

Malfoy turned to look at him, for all of about two seconds, then looked away at the lake again.

"Well..." Malfoy replied in a quiet, almost inaudible voice. "I was wondering if you'd...kiss me. For real."

Harry froze from shock, or maybe excitement, or both. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Did _Malfoy_, of all people, just ask Harry to kiss him?

"W-what?" he stuttered, dumbfound. Malfoy rounded to face him.

"You heard me, you bloody git," Malfoy said, extremely flushed. "I'm not repeating myself. It was embarrassing the first time around!" When Harry didn't move-too shocked to do so-Malfoy put his fists on his hips...his slender, beautiful-_**shut up­!**_ the Ron-voice screamed at him. "Well, come on, time is galleons."

Harry still made no move toward Malfoy-still too shocked. Irritated, Malfoy crossed the few feet that separated them to grab the front of Harry's robes. He jerked the Gryffindor so hard, that when their lips met, Harry could taste blood, though he didn't know whose it was. At that point, he didn't care. All he cared about was the feel of Draco's soft lips.

_**Wait!!**_ Yep, the Ron-voice again. **_Did the narrarator just call him_ Draco**

_Probably, I'm a bit busy at the moment._

**_When the _fuck_ did that change? That-that's insane!!! Harry, she's insane!!!_**

_Well, that would explain a lot._

_**ARGH!!! Does that mean that you like this? Do you like what she's making you do?**_

_Of course I do, haven't you been paying attention?_

_**Harry!!! Harry listen to me!! Harry-**_

Harry was too occupied with what was going on with his lips to listen to the screaming voice anymore. One thing he did pay attention to, though, was that Draco was a bloody good kisser. He nibbled and sucked at the brunette's lower lip, causing him to moan. The blonde used this to snake his tongue into Harry's mouth, exploring the new territory. With a mind of their own, Harry's hands made their way to the soft tendrils of the blonde's hair as Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pulling him closer. The kiss grew hungry, deepening as he pushed Draco into the stone wall.

_Oh, Merlin, this is good_, Harry thought to himself.

_**NO, it's not!!! You're not supposed to fraternize with the enemy.**_

_He stopped being the enemy when I-_

The 'conversation' and the kiss were interrupted by a loud, high-pitched screech. The boys flew apart, faces flushed and lips swollen.

"They were kissing!!!" The voice was high, girly, and filled with excitement. The boys turned and instantly shot twin death glares at Blaise Zabini who was standing just outside the door of the Entrance Hall. Almost immediately, he was surrounded by girls, most of whom were sixth and seventh years.

"Fuck off!" Draco yelled at the crowd. They didn't...er...'fuck off'. Without any noticeable motion, he had his wand in his hand, pointing it at the crowd. "I said, '_fuck off'_'!!"

They got the picture, pushing and shoving at each other to get back inside. Draco sighed as he slid his wand into his robes again.

Draco laughed through his nose. "Fan girls. Well, we'd best go back, too, or we'll be late for Potions," he said, looking at Harry over his shoulder. Then, he walked away, leaving Harry to stare after him. He didn't have the heart to tell Draco that his hair was messed up.

Obviously someone did, because Harry heard a scream echo through the Entrance Hall and out over the grounds.

* * *

Snape wasn't kind to Harry through Potions, so what else is new? All he did was lose his assignment, forget his quill, not pay attention, blow up his cauldron, and talk back to Snape. Again, what else is new? Well, the whole Draco-blatantly-watching-Harry's-every-move thing was new. 

All through the class, Harry felt eyes on his back, and knew exactly to whom they belonged. Trying to act as if he didn't notice, he accidentally knocked over a vial filled with some sort of venom, spilling the liquid to the floor. In an attempt to clean it up, Harry's glasses fell off and he hit his head on the corner of the desk. Simultaneously.

Snape, upon seeing this, made a joke at his expense. Harry's face pinked slightly and the Slytherins laughed. Well, except for one.

Hermione, in her brilliantness, saw how a certain blonde Slytherin was a distraction to the Boy Wonder. (Okay, you didn't have to be brilliant to see it, you just had to be, well, not Ron.) After class was excused, she asked Harry if she could talk with him while Ron walked ahead.

"What happened to your lip, Harry?" she asked, grinning because she already knew the answer.

Harry touched his lip, wincing slightly when he found the small cut.

"You probably already know," he replied. Hermione's grin turned into a smile. A faint blush colored his cheeks as he cleared his throat, then continued. "I don't know exactly how it happened, it just did. Strike that, I know how it happened-he kissed me-but I'm not sure _why_ it happened. He doesn't like me, or at least I thought he didn't."

Hermione sighed. "Harry, have you never noticed? You really _are_ dense, aren't you? He's been trying to get your attention since you rejected his offer of friendship in first year, albeit a...unique way to do so."

Had Hermione just insulted him? Oh well.

Then, a thought hit him.

"Wait! He's gay?!" Harry was now quite shocked.

"Well...yeah," Hermione answered in a tone that suggested that she assumed that everyone knew, except for Ron of course. "He spends more time on clothes and his hair than the whole seventh year Gryffindor girls. Combined. It's actually quite amazing that you haven't noticed."

Pause.

"You knew and you never told me?" Harry asked slowly.

"Well, no," she answered. "That would have ruined the whole romantic aspect of it all."

Harry sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am, I'm always right." She was rather full of herself sometimes, another new development since the beginning of seventh year.

Harry sighed again. "I can't believe I never noticed."

"It's okay, if it were Ron, he wouldn't realize it until _after_ Malfoy had already had his naughty way with him," she said, laughing.

Harry let out a laugh. After all, it took Ron forever to realize that Hermione had liked him, and that was only _after_ Harry had gotten fed up and told him. It was kinda comical, really.

The two continued down the corridor without much conversation. Eventually, he just had to ask.

"Draco really likes me?"

"Yes," Hermione sighed.

There was a long pause.

"So, he's been promoted from 'Malfoy' to 'Draco', has he?" Hermione asked, grinning at him again. The look in her eyes said something along the lines of, 'how cute, my little baby's growing up.' Said little baby quickly turned away, but he couldn't hide the blush that rose from his neck.

"Don't blame me, blame the narrarator," he blurted.

"I'll make sure to do that."

A few more silent steps.

"Did you like it?"

A blushing Harry nodded.

* * *

The rest of the day passes relatively quickly for Harry. He had no more classes with Draco, resulting in no more mishaps. Dinner, however, was another story altogether. 

The instant he set foot in the Great Hall, everybody's eyes were on him, again, and he knew that one pair in particular, a grey-silver pair, was going to watch his every move, even after everyone else quit their gawking. Knowing this, he became extremely self-conscious. He tried to come across as a calm teenage boy without a care in the world.

That notion flew out the window the second he tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor with an overly loud THUD!

"Harry!" several different voices called, most of which coming from the Gryffindor table. Slowly, he moved back to his feet, noticing that many students had stood to gawk at his misfortune. Harry cursed himself and his clumsy feet as he took his seat between Ron and Ginny.

"You okay, Harry?" Hermione asked, leaning past Ron for the jug of pumpkin juice. "That look like it hurt."

"Yeah, I'm fine. My face broke my fall," he answered, removing the broken glasses that hung crooked on his nose. Ron chuckled as Harry passed the glasses to Hermione, who mumbled a repairing spell at the poor, tattered things. She handed them back to Harry.

"So, how was your day, Harry?" Ginny asked, a smile playing at her lips. "Anything exciting happen?"

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Hermione beat him to it.

"You have no idea."

"So it's true?" This was directed at Hermione, who nodded.

"Malfoy actually _ki_-" she started, but Harry interrupted.

"Hermione! I'm not bloody telling you anything anymore!" he complained.

"What?" she asked, looking almost too innocent. "You can't expect me to keep this juicy little secret, especially when everyone already knows."

Ron looked up from his food, his expression showing that he was something close to confused. "What does everyone know?"

Obviously, not _everyone_ knew.

Harry turned to tell him 'nothing', but Hermione was on a roll tonight. That witch.

"MalfoykissedHarryandhelikedit," she said quickly.

"HERMIONE!!"

**_You brought this on yourself, Harry._**

It took Ron more than a few moments to process the information shoved at him, and with each new conclusion he came to, his face turned a different shade of green.

Let it go down in some history book somewhere that no one's ever going to read: Ronald Weasley actually pushed his food _away_. Shocking, I know. Alert the proper authorities that Hell has frozen over. Not just frozen, mind you. It's an all out Ice Age. Weasleys don't _not_ eat. Or at least not this Weasley. Well, Weasleys in general, I think. I could be wrong. Probably not though. Oh...lost my train of thought there. Where was I...oh yeah...

"EW!! Harry was...was...by _Malfoy_...and he...he liked it? EWWWW!!!!"

_**Hey, at least you weren't there to witness it.**_

If there was anybody at all who didn't know what happened between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, they now had a pretty good idea.

"Ron, shut up," Harry hissed.

"Harry..._why?_" he asked.

"You didn't put up this kinda fuss in the common room. You seem almost homophobic," Seamus added to the conversation, suddenly finding it more interesting than his steak and kidney pie.

"I'm not," Ron replied. "I'm Malfoy-phobic."

"That hurt so much, Ronald," an overly-dramatic voice whined behind the red-head. Ron paled as he slowly turned to Draco, who clapped his hands over his heart. "That hurt right here."

"Draco!" Harry exclaimed, beaming.

"Mal-Malfoy," Ron stuttered in a mildly strained voice. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Oh, long enough to hear that you don't much care for Harry's taste in men, Weasley," Draco sneered down at Ron. The raven-haired boy whose taste was in question blushed.

"To be quite honest, Malfoy," Hermione interjected, "I think you could have been at the other side of the Great Hall and heard that Ron doesn't much care for Harry's taste in men."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "So."

"Nice come back. Did you think of that one all your own, or did one of your lackies come up with it for you?" Dean finally commented. After a moment, he added, "And, you look like a toddler when you do that, you know."

"I did _not_ come over here to be ridiculed," Draco spat.

"Then why _did_ you come?" Seamus asked.

"Well, if you must know, Finnigan, I came to whisk Harry away and snog him in some empty classroom," he answered nonchalantly, playing with his cuticles. "But he seems to be happy here, talking rubbish with you silly little Gryffindors, so I guess I'll go find an empty classroom by myself."

And with that, he walked off in the direction of the large doors, leaving the whole Gryffindor table to stare after him.

Ron heard a very audible gulp from his right. He turned just in time to see Harry almost fall over the bench as he launched himself toward the retreating Slytherin. "Wait up!"

The large, wood doors that marked the entrance to the Great Hall had barely closed when the students erupted with not so hushed gossip.

"Who uses the word 'whisk' anymore?" Dean finally asked. "Well, when they're not in a kitchen at least? It's kinda rare, nowadays."

"In that whole statement, the only thing you seem disturbed by is his _word choice_?" Ron asked, flabbergasted. He glanced from Hermione to Ginny to find support, but was slightly disappointed to find the two girls staring at the doors, almost drooling. He wasn't getting any help from them.

Sighing, Ron tried to go back to his dinner.

He failed miserably, feeling a little more than slightly ill.

Someone should go warm things up in Hell. Please.

* * *

**_Do _not_ follow him, Harry!! This is a bad idea!!!_** The Ron-voice yelled at him. 

Who listens to the voice in their head that sounds a lot like their best friend? Certainly not Harry Potter.

The blonde lead the brunette (doesn't that just scream something about natural order being off?) into an empty classroom not all that far from the Great Hall. Draco shut the door behind Harry, not seeming to bother with locking spells.

"Potter, contrary to what I said in the Great Hall, we are not going to snog," the Slytherin said.

_**YES!!!**_

_DAMN!!!_

"Well, we may get to that later," Draco amended after careful thought.

_**DAMN!!!**_

_YES!!!_

"Then, why...?" Harry asked, gesturing at the door with one hand.

Draco sighed. "Do you think they'd actually follow us if they knew we were sucking face?"

Harry cocked an eyebrow at the other boy. "Well, if this morning was anything to go by, they'd come in flocks. _With _cameras."

Draco's face turned to something of sudden realization. Certainly he hadn't _just_ thought about that, had he? He _must_ had been smarter than that, surely. Right? He whirled around, wand in hand, and cast several locking spells on the door.

"That won't keep Hermione out," Harry commented, watching Draco's actions through amused, emerald eyes.

"Would Granger actually follow us?"

"Probably." He laughed through his nose. "In fact, she'd probably be leading the pack."

The Slytherin cast several, more advanced locking spells on the door, hoping that would be enough, because, to be honest, he only knew so many spells that would hold a certain bushy haired Gryffindor out. If she got through those spells, he reasoned, it was because she was some sort of freaky genius. Which, incidentally, she was.

Sorry, Draco.

After locking the door against crazed fan girls(and possibly crazed fan boys), Draco slumped against the door. He glanced up at Harry, who moved to sit next to him against the door. This way, they could at least hear the mob coming and have some chance of escape. Hopefully. If they weren't distracted. 'If' being the key word here.

"So, what did you want, then, if we're not going to snog?" Harry asked after a short silence.

"I wanted to talk," Draco answered. "About us."

"What about us?"

"Well, I was wondering..." Draco trailed off as a deep blush spread across his face.

"You seem to be doing that an awful lot," the green-eyed boy commented.

"Shut it, Potter." The Slytherin _tried_ to glare at the other boy, he really did. The other boy, however, was smiling a smile that melted the irritation right out of him. Damn Potter. Clearing his throat, Draco continued. "I was wondering-and if you didn't want to, I would understand-if, maybe, you would like to go to Hogsmead. With me. On Saturday."

Harry's mind was spinning. No way. No _fucking_ way Draco just asked that. "Like...like a...date?"

"No, Potter," Draco corrected. "Not _like_ a date. It would be an _actual_ date."

"Like a boyfriend/girl-er-boyfriend kinda thing?"

"Pretty much."

"Flowers and chocolate and candle lit dinner and all that?"

"Definitely not."

"Oh, thank Merlin."

"So that's a 'yes'?"

"Yeah."

Long, long pause.

"So, are we now...er...boyfriends?"

"Has either of us technically asked yet, Potter?"

"Well, no. But you asked me out on a date."

"Doesn't mean anything." Draco grinned, turning to completely face Harry. "Harry, would you be my boyfriend?"

**_Say no, say no, say no...you're not gonna say no, are you?_**

Harry flushed and opened his mouth to answer when the door burst open, shoving both boys to the floor. Not that it had been that far of a fall.

The Gryffindor looked over his shoulder to see their attacker-well, attackers, really-standing in the doorway. There were only two, to his surprise. The one immediately in the doorway held her wand in one hand, not really pointing it at anything in particular. Her other hand pushed a brown, bushy lock out of her glaring eyes before resting on her hip. The other, slightly hidden by the first, had her arms crossed over her Slytherin-clad chest and glared at the pair from under black fringe. The latter looked extremely unhappy. I'm not saying the first wasn't not happy, just the second was even more so.

Both boys knew they were going to get chewed out by the women standing over them. They had snuck away (well, not really 'snuck' per se) from dinner, announcing to almost the entire school what their intentions were. Boy, were they in for it.

"Pansy," Draco said at the same time Harry said, "Hermione."

"We can explain," they defended in unison.

"_Explain?_" Hermione roared. "Then explain to me WHY THE _HELL_ YOU TWO WENT OFF, _ALONE_, WITHOUT ANYTHING THAT EVEN SLIGHTLY _RESEMBLED_ A CAMERA!!!"

They had _not_ been expecting that. Definitely not.

**_How did I know they wouldn't be on my side?_**

"Yeah," Pansy agreed. "And, why the fuck are you two still clothed? You should've been at least shirtless by now. We gave you more than enough time."

"And, what's with all those locking spells? It almost took me a whole bleeding minute to get through all of them."

The boys stared up at the girls, utter shock completely dominating their facial features. Draco regained his composure first.

"Wait. _What?_"

"Impossible, the both of them," Hermione commented, ignoring Draco.

"Bloody fucking impossible," she agreed.

With that, the two girls turned on their heels and left, leaving the pair of boys increasingly confused.

"What was that about?" Harry finally asked Draco.

"Dunno," was his answer.

* * *

"Hermione," Harry asked as he entered the Gryffindor common room later that night. "What the hell was _that_ about?" 

Hermione feigned an innocent smile. "What was what, Harry?"

He exhaled an angry breath through his nose. "In the empty classroom?"

Her eyes were the next to act innocent. "Which empty classroom would that be?"

"Hermione! You know what I'm talking about!"

She sighed an incredibly fake-impatient sigh. "Harry, I obviously do not. Now, go bother someone else, I have to study for a test."

With that, she gracefully scooped her books and scrolls into her book bag. Harry stared after her as she left through the portrait hole.

"Dammit," Harry yelled at no one in general, causing many younger students to jump from the sudden outburst.

* * *

The next morning, Harry tried again to get information out of Hermione. He strode into the Great Hall, ignoring the looks from the other students. When he came to the Gryffindor table, he didn't take his usual seat. 

"Hey, Ron," Harry asked his best friend. "Is it ok if I sit next to Hermione this morning?"

Ron, with a mouthful of toast, shrugged and made room for him. Hermione, without even looking up at Harry, started to gather the notes she had sprawled across her portion of the table.

"It seems that I have forgotten a large section of notes," she told the boys. "I'll see you in class."

Both Ron and Harry gawked after her for two completely different reasons. After a second, Harry let out a groan of frustration.

"You'd think she's studied enough," Ron commented, buttering another piece of toast.

Then, the owls descended on the breakfasting students with their post. Harry glanced around, saw no owl that he immediately recognized as those from Remus or Sirius, and decided to start on his own breakfast.

"Harry." Ron nudged him. When he looked up, he found that a large eagle owl had landed next to his goblet of pumpkin juice. He took the small piece of parchment from the owl before it flew away, retreating with the rest of the owls.

Slowly, he pulled at the emerald green ribbon that kept the note rolled up and began to read it to himself.

_Harry,_

_Meet me in the same room...after curfew this time. We need to talk. _

_Draco._

_P.S. _

_And, no, that is not a euphemism in any way, shape, or form._

"Harry, who's it from?" the red-head asked. "What does it say?"

Harry felt himself flush at the thought of what 'euphemism' Draco might have been referring to. He cleared his throat before he answered.

"Uh...it..it was from no one. Said nothing."

"Ok."

* * *

That day crept by at an ungodly pace for Harry as he quite impatiently awaited the meeting. Classes were almost hell between having to sit through Ron's silly chatting(which he wasn't paying attention to), asking Hermione what she was up to(only to have her ignore him), thinking about our favorite Slytherin(which got him nowhere in any class), and other various students doing idiotic things he either never noticed or never deemed stupid before. Dinner passed in much the same way. After dinner, Harry passed his time doing homework, much to Hermione's elation. Still, she didn't acknowledge that she had anything to do with the...incident the night before. Oh, bugger. 

The common room was mostly empty when Harry slipped out the portrait hole just before curfew, throwing his Invisibility Cloak around his shoulders as he went.

It only took Harry all of about ten minutes to skip down the stairs two at a time, the whole while, a certain voice in his head chanting **_Don't go, don't go, don't go_.** By the time he walked to the door, however, butterflies were doing a jig in his stomach and he was seriously contemplating listening to the voice. But before he knew it, his hand was on the doorknob and it was twisting. _Too late to back out now_, Harry thought to himself as he entered.

As the door shut, Draco spun around, found no one, and looked slightly disappointed. Harry grinned to himself over the fact that he could make the blonde feel that way.

"Hello?" Draco called to the (almost) empty darkness. "Harry?"

The dark-haired boy did not respond but stepped forward so he was right in front of the other boy. Draco heard the noise of shuffling feet, but seemed to not notice the presence before him. A thought came to Harry as he stood there.

_**Don't Harry! I know what you're thinking. Please don't!** _Harry ignored the Ron-voice.

"Har-" Draco started but was interrupted by Harry's mouth pressing against his. The blonde tried to pull away, only to be held in place by one arm around his waist and one hand tangled in his hair. He stopped struggling as he recognized that taste. The one he tasted only once before. The morning before. Instantly, he was kissing the now mostly invisible Harry almost hungrily. When they finally came up for air, two pairs of eyes, one emerald and one silver, were fogged and unfocused.

"I've been waiting all day for that." Harry's voice was thick and husky.

"Me too," Draco agreed, his voice in the same condition. Then, he shook his head to clear it before continuing. "Has Granger been acting kinda odd since last night?"

Reluctantly snapped back to reality, Harry answered. "Yeah, she claims that she doesn't know what I'm talking about and then avoids me."

"Yeah," Draco agreed. "Pansy's been the same way. But everyone in Slytherin seems to know about what happened and she laughs every time someone brings it up."

"Hermione hasn't seemed to tell anyone," Harry commented. "Yet."

"So, you think they've done something? Or they're planning something?"

"Hermione isn't that...what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Slytherin?"

"Sure. Hermione isn't that Slytherin."

"Right," Draco said skeptically. It was then that he realized Harry was nothing but a head and the arms around him. "What's wrong with your body?"

Harry blushed and was about to defend that there was nothing wrong with his body when he realized he was still wearing the Cloak. "Oh, it's my Invisibility Cloak."

He pulled it off himself and handed it to Draco for the blonde to awe at.

"Now where does someone like you get a nifty little toy like this?" Draco asked, holding it up, feeling it between his fingers.

"Oh, my father gave it to me," Harry answered. "I'm told he got it when he was still a student here."

"Really?" Draco asked, distracted by the Cloak. "My father told me about these when I was younger. He said he had one, but gave it to a lover when he was in school."

_My father got while he was a student...gave it to a lover..._The two bits of information clicked in the heads of both boys at the same time.

_**EW!!**_

They looked at each other, panic and shock in their eyes. Then, without reason, they broke out in hysterical laughter. They didn't move except for their faces, which were contorted in their panicked fits. All at once, the two boys stopped, their eyes serious.

"We never speak about that. Ever," Draco ordered.

"Never," Harry agreed.

They stared at each other, not knowing what to say next. The Slytherin gave up trying to find something to say in favor of something to _do_. Stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Harry's neck, he pulled him close, so his lips were brushing the dark-haired boy's ear as he spoke.

"Why don't we do something to push such thoughts from our minds?"

The Gryffindor automatically blushed. "I thought you said 'talk' wasn't a euphemism."

"I lied." With that, he pulled the other boy's mouth to his in another deep and hungry kiss. Walking backwards, he made his way to the large desk at the front of the classroom, guiding Harry with him. Laying back on it, he pulled Harry down to him, cradled between Draco's thighs.

"Not here," Harry said, pulling away. "I'm not having my first time in an empty classroom."

**_How 'bout you don't have your first time with _him**

"First time?"

"Shut up."

"Fine," Draco surrendered. "And since I'm oh so nice-" Harry snorted. "-I'll even let you take me to where ever you want."

"The Tower."

_**Don't take him there!! In fact, don't do anything that follows the train of thought running through your head!!!**_

"Ugh, fine. How did I know you'd say that?"

* * *

"Harry!! What's wrong with your curtains?" 

Ron's voice cut through his sleep-fogged head.

_Is that the real Ron, or the Ron in my head? _Harry thought to himself.

_**It's not me. Ron must be trying to wake you up...but you should know, he's gonna freak when he sees your...company.**_

Just then, the curtains were spelled open, letting in the bright, Saturday morning sun. Followed by an ear-splitting scream.

**_Told you that you'd regret it._**

Harry sat up and covered his ears, thankful that Draco seemed to remain impossibly asleep.

"Ron!" a female voice called out. Ron instantly stopped screaming. "What's wrong?"

"H-Harry...an-and Mal-Mal-Malfoy," the red-head whimpered. "In..in...in the s-same..._bed_. An-an-and they're n-n-n-n-_naked_!!!"

"Well, Weasley, that's normally what happens when people have-"

"NO!!!" Ron covered his ears and ran from the room. The other seventh year boys had left before him, and were already down at breakfast.

"So this is were he was? I was worried when he didn't come back to Slytherin last night. Or this morning."

"Yeah." There was a sigh. "I'm not in the least bit surprised. In fact, I'm rather giddy."

"What?" Harry asked, finally choosing to enter the conversation.

"Well, I get money now," Hermione answered.

"_WHAT??_ What in the hell for?"

"Well, I made a bet with...someone that I could get you and Draco together by the end of the year, they doubted me, so we made a bet. Foolish on their part really. Anyway, I won, so I get the money," she replied. When Harry gave her a confused look, she continued. "That picture, it was me. Well, technically, it was Pansy that drew it, but it was my idea and my charms."

"Speaking of which, I want a portion of that money," Pansy commented.

"Yeah, yeah," Hermione waved a hand at the dark-haired Slytherin.

"Hey, what about you two ignoring us today?"

"Well," Hermione began. "I showed a side I don't want people to know I have."

"Which side is that?"

"The side that likes to watch boys snog. Pansy's much the same. Pretending like it didn't happen would assure that no one else found out about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a pair of twins I have to owl and get money from."

_THE TWINS!! Those bastards!_

_**You should kill them.**_

_Right._

As Hermione turned to leave, Pansy grabbed her arm.

"Wait, Hermione," she said, a smirk playing at her lips. "Don't you think they'll want proof?"

The bushy-haired girl contemplated this for a moment. "True." Pause. "Colin!!!"

Footsteps could be heard running up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. There was a blinding flash and a loud click and the boy was gone again.

"Thanks boys," Hermione called over her shoulder as she and Pansy left the room.

Harry heard Pansy say, "Hermione, you'd make a great Slytherin, you know." before the door shut behind them.

Movement under the sheets next to him drew Harry's attention back to Draco, who had woken up in the middle of the explanation. His eyes ran over the bare torso and down the bed, where a pale thigh lay unprotected by the red sheets. He shifted his gaze back up to meet a pair of silver eyes staring intently at him.

"Harry. Fan girls suck...fan boys, for that matter, do too."

A grin spread languidly across Harry's face as he leaned in to kiss Draco.

"Well, they're not _entirely_ evil."

Draco pushed himself up to kiss Harry again.

"Okay, I guess they aren't so bad."

**_TBC_**

* * *

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, even if all of them aren't so lobing. I'm so happy that (mostly) everyone thinks it funny and/or cute. Hope you read my stuff in the future...that's if there _is_ stuff in the future. Ooh, suspense. 


	2. Fan Boys Are Even Worse

Disclaimer: These character _still_ aren't mine...which is a pity.

Oh, and, just in case you didn't get it from the last chapter...this is a slash.

The dedications are much the same, even more so this time to Heather, who managed to upload her first chapter..congrats. Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked again. Where was I...oh yeah. This is the new chapter -and probably the last- for this story. Hope you enjoy.

Lobe Manaka-San

* * *

"Haaarrryy," the pale blonde whined. "You weren't gonna wear _that_ to Hogsmead, were you?"

"Well, I was thinking about it," Harry answered, looking down at his outfit. Personally, he didn't see anything wrong with it; his favorite gray jumper and an old pair of jeans. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Only _everything_," Draco answered. "For one, those jeans don't even fit. And two, that jumper does _not_ go with your eyes. Let me pick out your clothes for today."

Harry tried to argue that his outfit was just fine, but Draco wouldn't hear it. The Slytherin dug through his trunk, effectively scattering his clothes around the dormitory. He sighed and plopped himself on his bed, watching as his boyfriend looked frightfully at a red knit sweater. Harry didn't have to see the front to know there was a large, yellow 'H' on it. Draco shifted his eyes to Harry and cocked a silver eyebrow.

"Mrs. Weasley's idea of a Christmas gift," the Gryffindor explained.

Draco mouthed an understanding 'oh' and set the offending piece of clothing down as if it were highly explosive.

_**Tell him to burn it...or better yet, burn it without him knowing,**_ a voice called out in his head. To his surprised, is sounded like Pansy. Why on earth he'd have an advocating voice in his head that sounded like her was beyond him.

Nearing the bottom, and the end of his choices, Draco finally pulled out a green jumper Harry forgot he owned and a pair of jeans that Harry bought the summer before so he would have at least one pair that fit properly.

"Now get dressed," Draco ordered, throwing the clothes at him. As Harry pulled his previous jumper off, Draco made no move toward the door. Instead, he remained where he was as a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"You can go wait in the common room 'til I'm finished changing, alright?" Harry commanded.

"Yeah, 'cause it's like I've never seen you naked. Wait, have you forgotten last night already? I think I'm gonna cry."

"Draco," Harry said in a warning tone.

"Do I have to?" Draco whined.

"Yes."

"Fine." And with that, Draco over-dramatically stormed out of the dorm room and down the stairs toward the Gryffindor common room. When he reached the bottom, he found the one person whom he could tolerate, somewhat, and that was only because it was her genius idea that got him that edible boyfriend of his.

"Granger," he whined for the third time that. "Harry won't let me watch him change."

Hermione looked up from her texts at the pouting Slytherin. "Yeah, cuz it's not like you've ever seen him naked or nothing. He'll be down in a few moments, just leave him be."

She returned to what she had been doing.

"Granger, I thought you were supposed to be on my side here."

_**No you didn't. You **_**hoped **_**she would be on your side.**_

Hermione looked up again. Draco glared accusingly down at her and crossed his arms over his chest. She sighed and ignored him.

"Granger!"

"Hey, Malfoy, you're acting like toddler, again!"

"Shut up, Thomas!!"

_**Hex him. Hex him good.**_

_No, he's one of Harry's _- Draco shuddered - _friends._

"What's with all the yelling?" Harry asked, emerging from the stairwell.

"Granger wouldn't help me-" Draco started.

"-get back into your room to watch you change," Hermione finished for him. Harry scoffed at Draco.

"Yeah, what she said," Draco agreed, waving a hand absently in Hermione's direction. "Then Thomas over there said I was acting like a toddler, again, and I merely told him that his commentary wasn't needed. In less words."

Harry sighed. "Draco, you wanna go to Hogsmead or sit around arguing with my housemates?"

Draco jumped for joy. "Yay! It's time for our date!"

"Wow, you get really hyper after a good night's sleep, don't you Malfoy?" Seamus called from across the room.

"No," Draco answered without thinking. "I get hyper after a good shag."

Instantly, the common room grew so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. No one dared ask if what they heard was actual what he said. Draco beamed at the shocked faces while Harry turned a violent shade of red.

Draco's inner Pansy-voice began laughing at the astonished faces of the Gryffindors in the common room.

"Let's go," Harry finally said. He grabbed Draco's arm and lead him toward the portrait hole.

"Harry," called Hermione, who obviously wasn't effected by the blonde's statement. "Take your Cloak in case you two are out after curfew."

_**That's something else you may have to burn when he's not looking.**_

The boys stopped and exchanged horrified glances. "Uh, no, it's okay. We'll be back before then. Promise."

They were gone before Hermione could protest further.

* * *

"Hey, I didn't even realize I said it, okay?" the blonde defended over a cup of coffee. The duo sat at a window table in a cafe down the street from Honeydukes. "And anyway, I can't help if those chastity-cursed Gryffindors are easily shocked at my sexual prowess."

"Yeah, you're a regular sex god," Harry said, taking a sip of his own coffee.

_**Damn straight, you are!!! Well, not **_**literally **_**straight, 'cause, you know, the whole gay thing, but I'm sure he gets the picture. Well, then again, he **_**is**_** a Gryffindor.**_

"Damn straight," Draco echoed the voice in his head, pulling himself up in his chair so he sat completely straight and squared his shoulders. "And you know it!"

"Yeah, yeah."

After finishing their coffee drinks, the boys walked up and down the streets of Hogsmead, browsing shops and stopping every once in a while to make a purchase. One such purchase was from a cute little boutique that specialized in seductive undergarments.

"You can't make me get that."

"Please...for me."

"No."

"Haaarrryy."

"No."

"What if I buy a matching one? Then we can be sex gods together."

"..."

"You know you wanna see me in this. It's all silk...and look, it's even red."

"..."

"Come on, I know you wanna see me in this, all red and everything."

"Miss, could I get one of these."

The day proceeded on, and the number of shopping bags continued to increase.

"You know, shopping with you is almost like shopping with a girl."

"I take great offense in that. I am very masculine in my shopping."

"That's why we're toting around a Honeydukes bag _full_ of chocolate-"

"Hey, their chocolate is amazingly exquisite."

"-a bag possessing underwear-"

"_Sexy_ underwear."

"-a bag with the newest magical facial creams-"

"You want my skin to remain beautiful and flawless, right?"

"-and a bag with brand new, _expensive_ robes."

"I always have to look my best. Just be happy I didn't make _you_ pay for those."

"Elation is leaking from every pore."

"Ew."

"Just an expression, Draco."

"Still gross."

As the sun set and the shops closed up for the night, Harry and Draco found themselves outside the Three Broomsticks.

"Wanna stop and get a drink?" Harry asked, jerking one bag laden arm at the door.

"Yes," answered Draco. "I'm completely parched."

The brunette rearranged the bags so he could hold the door open for the blonde. The only other occupants were two witches at the bar who kept stealing glances at the boys, a warlock who kept to himself in one corner, and a witch who seemed to be covered in warts and boils; rather empty for a Saturday night. The newly arrived couple took a booth near the back, away from the bar. After a moment, their waiter walked over to their table.

"So, what's your poison tonight, boys?" he inquired. He was young, couldn't had been more than a few years older than the boys, with dark hair and darker eyes.

"Firewhiskey," Draco responded before Harry could answer. "For the both of us."

As the waiter left to get their order, Harry leaned across the table at Draco.

"We can't have that, we're not of age yet."

"Oh, but the owner knows me, knows my sex god status. She lets me order whatever I want," the blonde replied. "And did you _see_ the way that guy was looking at me? He'd let me get away with anything from ordering firewhiskey to murder."

"Hardly," Harry replied disbelievingly. Then, he looked at his boyfriend desperately. "She doesn't know your sex god status first hand, does she?"

"Merlin, no," Draco snorted. "She only wishes she had."

_**That would be a little more than slightly gross.**_

Harry was about to says something, but was interrupted by the arrival of their firewhiskey. Draco smiled a thanks to the waiter before he turned and walked off again.

"Hey, Harry," said the blonde. "I know a fun drinking game. Wanna play?"

_**Oh, this should be interesting.**_

* * *

"Draco! Get up, you lazy sod! Get the fuck out of bed!!" Pansy yelled, jerking the blonde from his wonderful dream involving him and Harry.

_**Damn that witch. She should know not to wake people up so early on a Sunday.**_

"C'mon Draco, get up!"

Draco opened his silver eyes, glaring up at the interrupter of dreams. Pansy had pulled the green curtains open and now stood in the part, looking rather unthreatening and annoyingly bright in her neon pink nighty.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you still be in bed, too?" Draco asked groggily.

"Well, thanks to you, I couldn't even get to bed last night. Neither could anyone else in the dungeons," Pansy snapped. "Now get out of bed!"

"Shouldn't you at least refrain from coming in the boy's dormitory? Even if you are awake, some of us wanna sleep. Now scurry back to the girl's dorm so I can return to my cozy dream."

"I _am_ in the girl's dorm!"

_**Oh, snap!**_

Draco's eyes shot open. No way in hell he had been so drunk as to go up the wrong staircase and fall asleep in the wrong bed. Right?

_**Wrong...Draco, I distinctly remember a chorus of some Muggle song Harry taught you being yelled into the night. If you were drunk enough to do that, you were drunk enough to do anything.**_

"NOW GET OUT OF MY BED BEFORE I HEX YOU SO HARD, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL FEEL IT!!!!" Pansy bellowed.

"He won't be having any of those, thank you. And I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop your yelling. Some of us are attempting to sleep," a deep, sleepy voice came from the bed next to Draco. Slowly, the blonde turned to find a dark head of hair trying to burrow into the pillow.

"We could adopt, you bastard!" he exclaimed, jabbing the drowsy Harry in the ribs, only to be peered at with unfocused emerald eyes.

"Fine, if that's what you want," replied the brunette, grabbing his glasses from where they sat on Pansy's night table.

"It is, thank you very much," Draco retorted. Then, he leaned down and gently kissed Harry.

"THAT'S IT! OUT YOU GO!!" And with that said, Pansy raised her wand at them, screaming a spell, and the two occupants of the bed were thrown from the green sheets to land in a mass of naked skin on the floor. Draco, realizing their lack of clothing, yanked the matching green comforter from Pansy's bed and settled it over them. Harry turned a violent red. "As much as I like the fact that you two are actually together, next time, use your own bed to have kinky monkey sex!!!"

The two boys rose from their position on the floor, which was rather difficult due to the fact that they had to maneuver the blanket as well as remain balanced. As they made their way toward the door, Pansy began to throw their clothing at them. When a pair of red silk underwear came to land on Harry's shoulder, he held them up and looked at the furious Slytherin.

"I don't think these are-" he began.

"Yes they are," Draco interjected, blushing slightly. The blonde grabbed them from Harry, who proceeded to turn a darker red (if that's even possible), and stuffed them into the blanket.

* * *

The couple re-emerged from the boy's dorm not long after, Draco beaming and looking fairly ecstatic while Harry tugged at the clothes Draco had lent him, which fit awkwardly. Cat calls and wolf howls resonated from Slytherins arranged around the common room. Theodore Nott approached them with a smug expression on his face.

"You seem rather cheery and full of energy this morning, Draco. Have a good time last night?" he asked through a smirk.

"Now that you mention it, I can't remember," Draco declared truthfully. Then, giving Harry a sidelong glance. "Guess me and Harry will have to reenact later."

"Oh, that will be interesting," Nott commented, shifting his gaze to the brunette. "So, Potter, feeling okay this morning?"

"I'm fine," replied Harry slowly. "Just a little more than slightly uncomfortable."

"Oh really?" asked the smirking Slytherin, sending an amused look over one shoulder. Instantly, the common room erupted with laughter. One boy, a fifth year that Harry didn't recognize, added an 'Oh, Draco! Harder!' to the chorus of everyone else.

The Gryffindor's face paled to a stark white. "No..."

"Yes, actually. Wait, let me correct myself. I do believe it was...'Oh, Merlin yes'," Nott jeered. "Who knew the Boy Who Lived was a screamer."

Harry stared at Nott as the information sunk in.

_**Oh, Merlin!! Look at his face! It's priceless!!! I didn't know the human flesh could go transparent!!! **_

Suddenly, Draco grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the entrance of the Slytherin common room.

"We're leaving," Draco stated to no one in particular.

The Gryffindor let himself get jerked into the corridor as Nott called, "Oh, and do check the _Daily Prophet_! There's an interesting article on the front page!"

* * *

"Ah, bloody fuck," cursed Draco as he skimmed the recommended reading where he sat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. He was quite thankful none of Harry's friends were there at that moment.

The headline **Golden Boy and Ice Prince of Hogwarts-Together?** and the picture from the morning before adorned the top half of the first page of the _Daily Prophet_. The accompanying article gave a mass of information about the new relationship of the boys as well as of the feelings they harbored for each other prior to said relationship. Something in Draco told him that most of the 'anonymous' reports were from his so-called friends. He pointed his wand at the paper, which proceeded to rip to shreds.

"Sirius is gonna have a coronary," Harry piped up.

"Yeah, you're lucky," replied the blonde. Then, with a note of sarcasm, he added, "But I assure you, tomorrow's headline will be better. It will tell of a homicide. Some deranged father will have killed his only, and remarkably beautiful, son. It will be incredibly sad. Too bad I won't be here to read it."

_**I will mourn you.**_

_That's comforting._

_**It should be...sort of.**_

"He wouldn't kill you," the Gryffindor said, taking his hand. "Would he?"

"You don't know my father." Green eyes looked at him, horrified. "I was kidding, Harry. He probably won't kill me." Harry seemed to relax. "Nope, knowing him, he'll just pull me from school and lock me in one of our dungeons."

Harry was about to protest when Ron and Hermione walked up. Ron's face contorted as he noticed (yes, he actually _noticed_ something. amazing isn't it?) their closeness and the fact that Draco was eating his breakfast at the Gryffindor table.

"Hey, boys," greeted Hermione, taking Ron's usual seat next to Harry. The red head slid into the seat on his girlfriend's other side.

The duo gave 'good mornings' to the new arrivals.

"So, where were you last night, mate?" Ron asked, leaning to look at Harry. "You never came back to the Tower."

Harry started to answer as Ron poured himself a cup of pumpkin juice. He didn't know exactly how to reply without effectively causing his best friend to be violently ill, so he gave up. Draco, however, knew exactly how to answer, and awaited for the opportune moment, which just so happened to be when Ron took a drink from his cup.

"He was getting thoroughly shagged," replied the blonde with a note of pride, despite the fact that he couldn't remember the activities of the night before. Ron choked on his juice, causing it to spill from his mouth onto the table. Hermione flicked her wand at the mess and it disappeared. He waited until Ron was done choking and attempted another drink before continuing with a grin. "Into the mattress, I might add."

The Pansy-voice howled with laughter as Ron's face turned a rather grotesque green, which seemed to make his hair even more offending by contrast, as he covered his ears and twisted his features in horror.

Harry's reaction was a little different: his face didn't go anything near green, in fact, it steered more toward a dark maroon as he folded his arms on the table and attempted to bury his head in them.

Hermione had no reaction.

"Speaking of which," Hermione continued, ignoring the faces of the boys around her. "Have you seen what the _Prophet _wrote?"

"Ugh," groaned Draco, slumping in a manner that went against all of his Malfoy training. "Don't remind us just how unloving our friends really are."

"Well, I _could _tell you who did it," Hermione offered. "If you wanted to know."

Draco immediately straightened and gave her a pleading look over Harry's quiet back. "Please, I wanna hex the daylights out of them!"

"Alright, but you can't hex them too bad." Hermione took a sip of Ron's abandoned juice. "Colin sent the picture and Blaise played reporter, gathering tidbits of info and submitting it to the _Prophet_."

"How 'bout Zabini dies first?" asked Harry, his voice muffled by his arms.

"No one is going to die," the Slytherin said after receiving a warning glare from Hermione. "They'll just have a lack of bits after we're done with them."

Harry raised his head to stare at her questioningly, hoping she would at the very least not report them. The female Gryffindor seemed to throw this idea around in her bushy head. "Well, as long as it's not too painful for them...or at least physically."

"It will be mentally traumatizing," smirked Draco. His brunette boyfriend nearly fell over backwards from excitement. Draco rose from his seat and offered Harry a hand. He took it and soon they were both standing next to the still green Ron and a grinning Hermione. "Now, we really must be off; there are two boys in need of punishment." Then he turned to Harry. "Shall we, dear?"

"Yes, love."

And with that, the two left the Great Hall, passing Ginny on their way out. When she came up to the Gryffindor table, she took the seat next to Hermione with a confused look.

"Why are they so happy this early?" she asked, reaching for a slice of toast.

Hermione smiled at her. "A little early morning revenge would make anyone happy."

* * *

The offenders stood before Professors McGonagall and Snape, their eyes darting from one place to another, trying not to meet the reprimanding gazes before them. They had barely finished their crimes when the professors strode down the corridor at them, their faces twin masks of aggravation. Well, Snape _always_ had that sort of countenance. McGonagall's was usually more...indifferent.

"Boys, do you have any idea how hard it will be to regrow Mr. Creevey and Mr. Zabini's nether-regions?" asked the tall woman who seemed slightly surprised that she would find these two boys pulling pranks together despite what she had read in that morning's issue of the _Daily Prophet_.

_Inescapably hard, if I did it right_, the blonde thought to himself, but aloud, they mumbled in unison, "No, professor."

"It will be extremely difficult to brew a potion to remedy the problem," Snape continued. "I hope you two know the seriousness of this situation."

"We do, sir."

_**Serious or not, it was bloody fucking funny.**_

"I'm afraid we will have to give you boys detention for your actions, nonetheless," McGonagall informed them. "You will be helping Professor Snape in his classroom tomorrow after dinner. Am I clear?"

"Crystal, professor."

"Good. You are dismissed."

* * *

Later that day, at lunch, the boys recounted their escapades as well as their encounter with the professors to anyone who asked. Many boys stopped listening when the narrative came to the part about blowing off bits, but most girls stuck around and shrieked with laughter; a good portion started crying, they were laughing so hard.

"Poor Colin," Seamus commented. "I would hate to have my manhood blown off."

"Well, that's what he gets for sending that picture to the _Prophet_," Draco defended. "He had it coming."

"Draco, I really think we shouldn't had gone _that _far," said Harry. "I mean, he was just following his photographic instincts: taking incredibly hot pictures and wanting to share them with the world."

"Are you defending him?" asked the Slytherin in a scandalizing tone.

_**Should we blow his bits off, too? For being a fan boy sympathizer?**_

_No, I'm rather fond of his bits._

"No, I just-" Harry started, but Seamus interrupted.

"Speaking of the article, would you be willing to sign this?" The Irishman held out a copy of that morning's paper and a quill.

Draco didn't say anything, he just stood and walked out of the Great Hall.

"Draco!" called Harry, following his retreating boyfriend.

The blonde almost knocked over a fourth year Hufflepuff as he rounded a corner down the corridor from the Great Hall. She cried out in surprise, then, noticing who it was, scurried off in the direction he had just come from. Not long after that, he heard footsteps coming up from behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know it was Harry.

"Draco, what's wrong?" asked the brunette when he finally caught up with the blonde. Draco turned to look at Harry.

"Fan people, that's what's wrong," he replied. "Fan girls, fan boys, the whole lot of them are crazy in one way or another."

"Now you know how I feel," Harry said, laughing through his nose. "And anyway, fan girls are the reason we're even together."

"Fine," Draco conceded. "Fan girls are _okay_, I guess. But fan boys are demons out of Hell."

"They are pretty bad aren't they?" Harry took a step toward Draco, wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. Draco's own arms snaked their way around Harry's neck.

"Worse than bad. They're down right _evil_."

"I guess you're right."

_**Here we go...**_

"Of course I am, I'm _always_ right. And beautiful. And smart. And an excellent Quidditch player. And-"

"And narcissistic."

"Hey, that's my mommy's name."

"Oh, shut up," Harry ordered before closing the gap between their mouths.

**_The End...I Promise_**

* * *

Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it. See you next time!!!


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